


Hummingbird Heartbeat

by Well_Then_Extract



Series: Zadr Week Phase 2 2019 [4]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, and they were ROOMMATES, i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i wan-, i'm living vicariously through dib, jealous zim, oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 03:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Well_Then_Extract/pseuds/Well_Then_Extract
Summary: "Are you jealous of a cat?" Dib teased, shifting closer to Zim and laughing close to his ear."Don't be stupid, Dib-worm," Zim snapped, pushing Dib back by putting s half-hearted hand on his chest."Oh my God," Dib cackled, holding Zim's face in his hands, "are you such an attention whore that you can't handle me getting a pet cat?""Get away from me,"Zadr week day 4: jealousy
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Series: Zadr Week Phase 2 2019 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1543864
Comments: 8
Kudos: 124





	Hummingbird Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> It's my zadr fic I get to pick the Katy Perry song.  
Hummingbird Heartbeat slaps, listen to it.  
Okay so other than day 2, I'm doing a two-word song title for every single day and that is entirely by accident. Wack.  
Also I know I probably could have taken this jealousy thing in a deeper and more angsty direction, but I didn't have the time and energy so you get fluff.  
Also I want a cat so bad it's unreal ;-;  
Can you tell I'm gay and want a kitten?

Zim never really understood the appeal of pets.

Cats, dogs, lizards, children, none of them. It really just seemed like they ate your food, pooped in your house, and then died, and you had to pay for it! It just seemed like a big hassle. And for what? Just so it sits there and looks cute? It doesn’t make any sense.

“I keep you around, don’t I?” Dib had said when Zim asked him about it.

Dib slept on the couch that night.

“If anything,” Zim yelled as he threw Dib’s blanket and pillow on the floor, “you’re my pet! Not the other way around!”

Dib told Zim he kept GIR, so he should understand having pets.

Zim didn’t really see the connection.

GIR isn’t a pet, GIR is… GIR.

It’s really not the same thing at all.

Zim could never understand it, but Dib always talked about wanting a pet of some kind. Luckily, Zim was pretty good at deterring the conversation and keeping Dib from doing anything stupid.

But now, Zim had a small furry beast in his house, sleeping in his bed, wandering around his house and getting stupid brown fur everywhere, glaring at Zim like it was taunting him.

Zim had tried to stop Dib from going into that pet store hell-hole, but Dib had grown out of the range where Zim could drag him around, and it occurred to him that unleashing his pak legs in the strip mall may not be the best idea.

So he had no choice but to follow Dib into the store, which was essentially just a trap because when you walked in you were suckered into all of the animals and the animal toys and suddenly buying a cat didn’t seem like a bad idea.

But it was still a bad idea. Dib ran around the store, looking at all the animals and pointing to them like a kid in a zoo while Zim talked about how ugly they were.

(He especially didn’t see the appeal of iguanas, they were the worst and most ugly pets of all.)

They looked at cages of small rodents, of larger rodents, fish, disgusting lizards, turtles, and insufferable little birds. Dib seemed to find something interesting in all of them, but all Zim saw were horrendous Earth creatures.

Then Dib saw the section in the back where the cats were, and Zim knew he had made a huge mistake allowing Dib to come in here.

There were three kittens asleep behind the plastic case, it looked like they were being kept in a cage but fancier. There were a few platforms and blankets but it was pretty bare-bones, and it was still a cage.

Two cats were asleep on a platform, curled together in a bundle of fur, and Dib started excitedly pointing to them and cooing about how they were cuddling.

“Oh my God, look at them, they’re so cute. They’re sleeping together, that’s adorable. Zim, Zim, look at them,” Dib tapped Zim’s shoulder as if Zim wasn’t already watching the two creatures.

He frowned at the cats, shuffling away from the cage. The third cat was laying by himself on the floor, head held upright and limbs curled underneath him so he just looked like a blob. His face was exceedingly fat, and even though his eyes were closed he still looked angry.

“Those are JC and Dragon,” Zim read allowed off of the laminated cards hanging from a hook on the wall, hoping that Dib just needed to get this out of his system and then they’d be able to go home, “the fat angry one is Justin.”

These names were ridiculous, Zim scrunched up his face at them. What kind of name is JC? Those are letters, it’s not a name.

“Oh my God shut up, that one’s named Justin?” Dib asked, turning back around to look at Zim, grinning so wide his eyes were wrinkling at the corners.

“Yes, that’s what I said.”

“Holy shit, look at how fat he is, look at how angry he looks. And his name is _Justin_?” Dib pressed his hands against the plastic, smiling at the cat.

“We have to get him.”

“What? No. No, never. Zim doesn’t want a cat.”

“Listen, when you asked me to move in with you, you accepted the responsibility of dumb shit I do and any future pets I want.” Dib argued, not looking away from the pitiful cat thing.

“I didn’t realize you came with a contract. If I had, I wouldn’t have accepted your request to live in my house.” Zim complained, he got angrier the more he looked at the cat.

“You asked me…” Dib muttered, incorrectly.

“I did not!” Zim shouted, jabbing a finger into Dib’s shoulder.

“Whatever,” Dib brushed off, only glancing at Zim for a second before turning back to the cage, “we’re getting this cat.”

“No we are not, Zim refuses.”

“But Zim, his name is _Justin_.”

“And?”

“Like Justin Timberlake! Cry Me a River!” Dib explained, as if it made any sense.

“That doesn’t mean anything-”

“And he likes cuddles! And energetic families! We’re an energetic family!” Dib insisted, waving the laminated adoption card at Zim.

“I’m not going to cuddle a cat,”

“You don’t have to, I’ll love him enough for both of us,”

“I refuse to sleep in a bed with a cat too, so you’re going to have to-”

“Are you two thinking about adopting one of these guys?” an insufferable little man asked, interrupting them, as he appeared from a door leading behind the cage. He was incredibly annoying with his thin wire glasses and vest, Zim found himself wanting to throw the man through a window.

Zim gritted his teeth and raised his shoulders, his patience was rapidly depleting.

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No, I don’t want a cat monster thing!” Zim argued snapping around to glare at Dib.

“It’s just a cat! It won’t hurt you, and his name is Justin and he’s literally the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,”

“No he is not, he’s ugly.” Zim barked, still glaring at Dib.

“Listen, it’s my house too now and we-”

“I get it,” the man interrupted, putting his hands out, “it’s hard to reach an agreement between roommates sometimes-”

“Roommates?” Dib and Zim both repeated at the same time.

In literally what way were Dib and Zim roommates? They were what the people call ‘boyfriends’, obviously. Roommates are for friends, and he and Dib were definitely not friends.

“We’re not-”

“Yes, that is our current situation,” Dib responded, not sounding completely sure of himself.

“Roommates?” Zim asked again, incredulously.

Dib kicked Zim in the shin, frowning at him.

“Cats are actually very low maintenance, and you might not even notice he’s there. Justin is a pretty calm cat, and very affectionate. Whatever bad stereotypes of cats you have, I’m sure Justin will prove you wrong.”

Zim growled, backing up closer to Dib. “I don’t think so.” He spat, glaring at the human.

“Aw, c’mon, I think you’ll like him if you just give him a try,” the worker insisted. “Do you even know who you’re talking to? I will not be treated like a fool in the presence of-”

“Has he had all his shots?” Dib interrupted, standing in front of Zim and blocking him from the man.

How dare he? Zim was going to properly tell this insolent worker idiot that he did not appreciate being undermined. The worker looked relieved at the standard question.

“He has! He’s completely vaccinated, neutered too, it’s all included in his cost!” he chirped.

Dib sighed deeply like he was making a painful decision.

Zim’s heart swelled with hope.

Then Dib turned back to Zim, eyes full of pity, and mouthed ‘sorry’ before looking to the man again.

Zim didn’t like where he thought this was going.

“We’ll take him.” Dib said, sure of himself, smiling at the employee.

“What!?” Zim squawked, whipping his head around to glare at Dib.

“Fantastic! Jan will get you set up with the papers, she’s just back here.” he nodded behind him at the door, grinning.

Zim was seething as he followed Dib behind the door into the adoption center, stomping along the tile floor.

He was going to strangle that employee, Zim continued to glare daggers at him as they walked.

He shifted in his seat as Dib filled out the forms, dug his nails into his arms as Dib picked out things for the cat, tapped his foot impatiently as Dib checked out and chatted with the woman there.

Stupid Jan in adoption services, stupid overzealous worker man, stupid Cam checkout lady.

“I do not want a cat!” Zim shouted as they were checking out, making Cam the stupid checkout lady jump. “I do not want him!”

“Hey, it’s my house too now, and when you asked me to move in with you, you should have considered my need for pets!”

“You asked to move in with _me_!” Zim insisted, his voice was getting high with the betrayal he felt.

People were probably staring at him, he didn’t care, people were disgusting anyway.

“I didn’t I-” Dib paused, like he remembered they were in public, “I need to pay.”

“For that monster?”

“Sorry,” Dib apologized to the checkout girl, and she nodded understandingly.

Zim felt like yelling at her too.

“Don’t enable him!” Zim snaps, lunging at her, and the pitiful human girl shrivels away from Zim and curls in on herself like a folding chair.

“Hey, don’t yell at people, you freak” Dib scolds, kicking Zim in the leg again.

“Shut up worm-boy!” Zim barks back, taking a step away from Dib.

“God, alright.” Dib muttered, reaching into his wallet to pay for the disgusting cat creature as Zim pouted next to him.

“Thank you Cam,” Dib said sincerely, smiling at her warmly.

Zim’s anger spiked, and wished it was socially acceptable to impale people with alien metal legs in public.

Cam nodded, smiling weakly. Stupid human girl, she wouldn’t make it on Irk, she wouldn’t make it anywhere except this pitiful pet store.

“Carry this, lizard.” Dib told Zim as he handed him a bag of cat supplies, and Zim begrudgingly listened, planning to throw the bag into traffic. It was a good thing Dib didn’t ask him to carry the cat.

“Thank you!” Dib called again as he quickly followed out after Zim, who was storming off into the parking lot.

They packed the cat and the other items into the backseat, and Zim slammed both doors as he climbed into the front seat. He gritted his teeth and crossed his legs, kicking his leg in annoyance.

Dib played Justin Timberlake from his phone the whole ride home, singing along loudly, and badly, as the cat mewled from the backseat. Zim tried his hardest not to be endeared by Dib’s shitty singing or by his infectious excitement.

Sometimes Zim found it hard to stay mad at Dib, this fact made it clear that Zim was too far gone in this relationship. Zim should have no trouble being constantly violent towards every putrid human on this garbage planet, but Dib made that harder for him. He rounded out all of Zim’s edges, made him less functional.

Zim didn’t like to think about this, so he focused his attention on hating the cat.

When they got home Dib only got more excited, jumping around and setting up the cat’s things, crooning at the cat the whole time.

Zim hopes GIR eats it.

Dib was completely enamored by the small creature, Zim didn’t understand it one bit.

“And he goes by the name...Justin,” Dib introduced every ten minutes, singing the beginning of that one wretched song that he keeps listening to, “_ow._”

He plays with the cat as they watch TV, he eats dinner with it on his lap, he carries it like a baby in his arms all night. He bounces the cat up and down, saying his name over and over, kissing its forehead and cradling it like a child.

It disgusts Zim.

Dib has not stopped singing “Justin, _ow_” since they got out of the car, and it has been nine hours.

Zim isn’t sure how much more of this he can take.

There doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

The cat keeps staring at him, mocking him, rubbing it in Zim’s face that Dib loves this horrific fur beast more than him.

Zim wasn’t able to lay in Dib’s lap while they watched TV like he usually did, because that spot was occupied but the stupid cat beast. Dib hadn’t talked to Zim that much, he spent too much time baby-talking to the cat, scratching it behind its ears.

Even as Dib was preparing to go to sleep, like he did every night, annoyingly, he wouldn’t put the cat down. He was laying in bed, holding the cat on his chest, lifting its arms up and down.

“I’m just a little baby,” he joked in a high pitched voice, lifting the little paws up, “I’m very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the stress I am under.”

Zim grumbled and turned away from Dib, curling up in a ball of spite.

“Hey,” Dib said, still in a high pitched voice, he set the cat on Dib’s side, and it crawled over him.

The cat sat in front of Zim’s face, but scrambled away when Zim hissed at it.

Dib picked the cat back up, returning it to its place on his chest.

“Hey, Spaceboy, what’s up? Why are you acting so weird?” Dib asked, voice returning to normal, he sat upright and looked over at Zim.

“Zim is not acting weird, the Dib is acting weird.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“You _are_ mad.”

“No I’m not,”

Dib scooted closer to Zim, placing a hand on his back.

“Is it because of the cat? Because I’m sorry. But I thought we had this agreement when you asked me to move in with you,” Dib soothed, rubbing his hand gently down Zim’s side.

“You asked me.” Zim argued weakly, he was having trouble staying mad again.

Stupid Dib and his stupid soft hands. His stupid gentleness and nice smell.

“What’s up, Bug? What’s going on?” Dib asked, and Zim felt a little more relaxed under Dib’s touch. His muscles got a little less tense, his eyelids fluttered, the effect of pet names on Zim was ridiculous and he hated it.

(He couldn’t get enough of the pet names, actually. He’d never admit it, but his Dib is so smart he sees it anyway. Zim kept losing his train of thought, he blames it on Dib’s hot breaths on his neck.)

“It’s not that I don’t like the cat thing, it’s that I don’t like how you’ve been focusing all of your stupid human attention on it.” Zim complained quietly, face half smushed into the pillow.

Dib’s hand stilled, pausing on Zim’s back.

“You don’t like me spending all of my time with the new kitten I just got today?” Dib asked incredulously, and Zim could _f__eel_ the stupid smirk on his face.

“Yes.” Zim muttered, squeezing the pillow and burying his face further into the pillow.

Dib started laughing, Zim felt the sudden movements of his chest against his back, the bed shook lightly.

“Do not laugh at Zim!” Zim barked, looking over at Dib briefly before hiding back in the pillow when he saw how Dib was looking at him. All love and amusement and surprise. It made Zim sick. How dare he look at Zim like that?

"Are you jealous of a cat?" Dib teased, shifting closer to Zim and laughing close to his ear.

"Don't be stupid, Dib-worm," Zim snapped, pushing Dib back with a half-hearted hand on his chest.

"Oh my God," Dib cackled, holding Zim's face in his hands, "are you such an attention whore that you can't handle me getting a pet cat?"

"Get away from me,"

“You’re so cute! Look at you, getting all angry over me being affectionate to a _cat_.”

“Shut up,” Zim barked, writhing to get away from Dib’s grip.

“Listen, Zim, I don’t know how to tell you this but I love you in a very different way than I love Justin the cat,”

“But you spent all night cooing at it and kissing it and letting the stinky thing sit on your lap, and Zim was sitting there not getting the attention I deserve!” Zim ranted, sitting up finally to face Dib.

“Oh my God, you moron, I’m not going to let a cat replace you,” Dib laughed again, grabbing Zim’s shoulder.

“Don’t call me a moron,”

“You are one, and I love you,”

Zim head spun, his antennae twitched. He never got tired of hearing Dib say that. “And I’m not going to replace you with a cat.”

“Good, no cat could ever compare.”

“Obviously,”

Dib scooped Zim into his arms, placing him on his lap like usual, something Zim had missed when Dib was fawning over the cat. He grabbed Zim’s face again, running his thumb over Zim’s cheek.

“Why do you think I asked to move in with you? Obviously you’re important to me, and I love you, otherwise I’d have just stayed at my own house. Living with you isn’t easy, you know.”

Zim huffed, it lacked any mallace though, so it came out as more of a sigh. He was going to comment on how Dib finally admitted that he was the one who asked to move in with Zim, but he was distracted by Dib running his fingers fleetingly up one of Zim’s antennas.

“I love you too, Dib-love, even if you’re smelly and you like bringing hairy monsters into the house for no reason.” Zim whispered, his eyes fluttered shut briefly.

“I love you,” Dib repeated, and Zim felt his face get mushy, his antennas lowered against his head automatically, “and I’m not going to replace you with a cat.”

He kissed Zim’s forehead.

“You could say it one more time if you want,” Zim purred, placing his hand over Dib’s on his cheek.

“I love you,” Dib affirmed, grinning, “and I’m not going to replace you with a cat,”

Zim sighed contently, keeping Dib’s hand held on his cheek as Dib leaned forward and kissed him, soft and easy.

Eventually they both layed down, and Zim cuddled in closer to Dib, nuzzling his chest while the cat walked over them on the blankets, plopping down in between them.

“He likes you,” Dib mumbled as he drifted off, eyes closed, blindly running his fingers through the cat’s hair, “he has good taste.”

“Unlike you,” Zim replied quietly. He took off Dib’s glasses with delicate fingers, folding them up and placing them on the nightstand.

Dib smiled softly, just enough for Zim to notice.

He thought about kissing Dib again, but he knew that humans needed their sleep and he should probably leave the Dib alone.

Dib fell asleep with his arms wrapped around Zim, as they should be, and Zim spent the majority of the night moving around a little feather on a stick for Justin, watching him bat around at it with tiny paws.

Zim didn’t mind the cat so much anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> AH okay so the song with the "Justin, ow!" is Señorita by Justin Timberlake and it will be in your head for forever.  
This is based on a true story! Except the cat's name was Lance and my mom didn't let me get him and I miss him so so much, feel like pure shit just want Lance the cat back.  
Zim is a possessive, needy motherfucker and literally, if Dib doesn't pay attention to him for longer than five minutes he will die.  
(Fellas that's a mood.)  
We getting real tired, but damn it I'm going to finish this zadr week and tomorrow is friday so I think I'll be okay, but still, very tired. Can I get an f in the chat for my energy at school tomorrow?  
Anyway! My tumblr is punchyshipszadr and I will cry if you leave me an ask or dm me!  
Kudos and comments make my whole week and I smile so wide every time I see them :,)  
Alright, thank you for reading and I'll see you tomorrow for day 5 :D


End file.
